Everything happened so quickly. About six months before David was diagnosed, I started noticing small signs that something was wrong. He was having dizzy spells and balance issues, but the doctors attributed it to vertigo. In June 2022, David was unwell with Covid which made him quite poorly. Then in mid-July, although David wasn’t back to his normal self, he persevered with a planned trip to Scotland for ‘The Open’ at St. Andrew’s and stayed with a friend. When he returned, he was extremely tired and constantly sleeping. His friend contacted me, saying that David seemed confused during his trip and didn’t realise, at times, where he was. I started taking notes to share with the doctor. The doctor initially blamed his symptoms on long Covid. Knowing there was something more, I pushed for further tests.

David had a CT scan on 2^nd August through the NHS in Magherafelt. Just five minutes after the scan had been completed, hospital staff called us into a room and said we needed to go to Antrim Area Hospital because there were no medical staff available to discuss the results. I knew something was wrong. I drove to Antrim worried sick, with David asleep beside me the whole way. I was terrified. At the hospital, they did another CT scan and told us David had a brain tumour.

From that moment, David’s condition rapidly declined.

He stayed in the hospital for a few days before being transferred to the neurology department at the Royal Victoria Hospital in Belfast, where he was monitored, given steroids, an MRI scan, and other treatments. He was constantly sleeping, and when he was awake, he was confused. Despite all the medication, I was saddened to see no improvement in his health.

The consultants met to discuss David’s medical situation, then called a meeting with David, myself, and David’s eldest brother to share their thoughts. We were told that the brain tumour was in a location where surgery was risky. They offered to carry out a biopsy, but it would only be to confirm the type of tumour and would in turn make David very uncomfortable. The consultants confirmed that he was too weak to have chemotherapy or radiotherapy treatment. They told us we only had days or weeks left with him.

I wanted to bring David home, but after discussing his care needs with family, we decided a hospice setting would be best. David spent seven days in the Northern Ireland Hospice and passed away on 23^rd August 2022, just 21 days after his diagnosis.

Throughout this process, I was on autopilot.

I was constantly running to the hospital, focusing on the girls, and relying on friends and family for support. When we were told nothing more could be done, I wanted to spend as much time with David as possible. When David entered NI Hospice I didn’t leave his side. Family kept the girls at night while I slept in a bed next to David.

The girls associated the hospital with death. They knew that when their maternal grandparents passed away, they went to the hospital and never came back. So, when David went into the hospital, they were understandably worried. Before knowing the seriousness of David’s condition, I told them that their daddy had a sore head and the doctors were trying to make it better. Once I knew the only outcome, I had to explain that their daddy’s head couldn’t be fixed and that unfortunately we didn’t have much time left with him. It was the most difficult and upsetting conversation I have ever had to have.

During David’s time in NI Hospice, someone referred us to Cancer Fund for Children, and I can honestly say that their support has been invaluable.

Gemma and Joe from Cancer Fund for Children got me involved in a coffee morning group for parents who had lost their partners. It was amazing to meet people in similar situations. We supported each other, shared coping strategies, and built a community we never wanted to be part of but are grateful for.

Alice received one-on-one support from Gemma, who visited Alice’s school for sessions. Alice got into art therapy and journaling and was so excited after each session. Initially, she was hesitant about group activities, but Gemma’s encouragement helped her participate, and she ended up loving it. She made new friends and enjoyed meeting people from all over Northern Ireland with different accents and experiences.

Amy, who takes after her dad with her love of sports, wasn’t ready to take part in support sessions. To engage her, we participated in the Bog Run last year.

It was a great way to involve her with Cancer Fund for Children while doing something she enjoyed. We joined a group of parents who had lost their partners, and some of my work colleagues also participated. It was a fantastic day, with Amy getting competitive and running ahead of me.

I encourage everyone to sign up for this year’s Bog Run. You hear about cancer and think it will never happen to you, but then it does, and it can happen so quickly. When David passed away, everyone was so supportive, but no one knew what to say. Before our experience, I didn’t know much about Cancer Fund for Children or the support they provide. It’s only when we needed their services that I realised how beneficial and necessary they are.

You can help us support other families like Lynsey’s. Sign up for our Bog Run today!