Magda’s Story
My name is Magdalena but people call me Magda. I live in Belfast with my husband and our two sons, and I work as a mental health practitioner within CAMHS. There are limitations to what I can do within my job now because of the cancer but I still love it.
I was diagnosed with Myeloma in November last year after experiencing other health issues and it was a huge shock, like I’m sure it is to most people. Especially because this cancer doesn’t typically affect people my age, it’s usually people who are older. It was difficult telling others because my sons were going through exams at that time, so we wanted to keep things normal. After exams, we told the kids and then I started treatment in December.
I was thinking about how long I had and how my kids still need me, especially my youngest. The bills still needed to be paid and my whole family lives in Poland so it wasn’t easy and I had to think about them too. I am expecting the next 6 months to also be hard. My treatment started with 6 cycles of targeted treatment and after those I will be going through intensive chemotherapy which means staying in hospital for a longer period of time. Gaining my immunity back after this will be a long journey. While I’m in hospital, visitation will be limited so right now we are thinking of how to spend time together and what is best for the boys as we want them to be with family.
The biggest question is where we will be next year, but I’m trying to focus on doing my best in the moment and making the most of the time that I have. I need to be active so I am exercising as much as I can every day. I can’t do the things I genuinely enjoyed and that’s the biggest downside, like my social life, family contact, swimming and hiking.
Cancer Fund for Children suggested a visit to Daisy Lodge and initially all of us were a little hesitant about going. My oldest son is trying to keep the cancer at the back of his mind for now so he can focus on A Levels and we were worried Daisy Lodge would be focused on cancer.
Cancer Fund for Children called us and told us what we could expect and it was very reassuring. We found out there were more families with teenagers going and we decided to go. We have always been an active family and love the outdoors, and adventures have always been a part of our family life, so we decided to go and explore.
Each of us enjoyed our time there. There was freedom. The other guests and the staff understand so you don’t have to explain anything or do anything you don’t want to do. We had time for ourselves and time to link up with others if we wanted to without pressure. Our youngest son enjoyed playing pool and our oldest son experienced the sauna and he was very happy with that.
We went for a walk around Tollymore Forest Park and went for ice cream. I enjoyed a massage in the spa. I never thought I would enjoy it but I can’t recall an experience where I was so relaxed. That was amazing.
The visit at Daisy Lodge helped normalise the experience of cancer. It was so nice being somewhere where you don’t have to explain yourself, everyone just understood. You could forget about cancer but still be realistic around it. It helped me feel more connected to people with a similar experience.
It is a difficult road but the positives are that I am responding well to treatment. Myeloma is not a curable cancer so I will be living with this until the end of my life, and it’s made me re-evaluate my life. With cancer, your time can be shortened and so you recognise what the important things are. I am trying not to overwhelm myself with things I always wanted to do and it’s hard to strike a balance between living in the moment and planning for the future and leaving things for my family to work with.
When you take a step back, take a deep breath and think “what does this mean,” it means that my time is limited. I can sit down and cry but that’s not going to helpful. Instead, I can try to accept it and do whatever I can to maintain my life. This is the road that I have, and I will make the most of it.
